I am finally coming out of this really dark place where I am unmotivated to do anything. It feels as if I am constantly taken over by this black shadow that confines me to my bed and the work I need to do rather than going out and doing the work I want to do. There is a big difference between need and want. I think finally moving out of home into a new country and environment does that to you. I've been lacking in a lot recently - experience, motivation, health. But I want to be someone, so I am going to have to work for it. No effort hard enough goes unlooked, right?